Controlling pre-game aggression via webloggery

Crush, maim, kill the Kamikazes!

Crush, maim kill the hapless cellar-dwelling Kamikazes!

Roundhouse kick them into next week, rub their noses in dog dirt, then drink them under the table, before urinating on their pathetic, lumpy excuses for bodies!

Slide hard into them at every opportunity, mindless of their gender!

HAVOC!!!!!!!

Now, doesn't that feel better.

And I'll give you the key

The lack of octogenarians and Cervus elaphus coupled with the presence of the parks’ patrol on a miniature tractor made the venue a week last Wednesday more John Deere Park than Old Deer Park. That aside, the Tecumsehs who made the long trip south to the wilds of Surrey were met with a beautifully still evening and glorious sunshine.

After a few tense minutes as the clock ticked down to 7.15pm, a couple of stragglers were spotted hurrying down the side of the A316 and we stepped up to the plate for the first away game of the season.

As at 7pm on 23 May 2007, the Tecumsehs had not won a competitive game in 315 days. The BSUK website says that the Tecumsehs last won an away game on 17 August 2004. It’s possible that it’s true. Notable things which happened on this day in history include: the birth of Seabiscuit, the death of Henrik Ibsen and the formation of the North West Mounted Police (later the Royal Canadian Mounted Police). It's also World Tutle Day. Add to that venerable list, a Tecumseh away win, if you please.

Last season, redoubtable outfielder and sometime catcher Thomas Miles Esq. posed the question “why don’t we do it on the road?”

I am pleased to be able to inform the gentleman concerned that his terms of reference are lamentably erroneous. We do do it on the road (or rather on the pitch next to the road). And when we do we do it in style.

Let us pause a second to remember the following: the 3 innings shut out (regular readers of the Tecumseh blog may need clarification that it was us shutting them out and not the other way around). A double play in the first innings (Sion (CF) and Jane (1B)). Andrew and Simon’s “sweet balls”. Shell’s triple. I could go on.

Actually, I will.

Solid hitting from everyone. RBIs for Shell, Jane, Rachel, Jen, Andrew, Sion and Pat (and possibly everyone else, I lost count). Keeping our cool when they started to get back into the game. Pressuring their pitcher. Tim’s pitching.

We should pause for a further 60 seconds to mention the opposition, who remained good humored throughout, and in the end, gave us a good run for our money, both on the pitch and in the pub. I can report that naturally, we won that as well.

Back In Black

Right, where were we?

No need to bear witness to the events of a fortnight ago. Last night the season began in defeat to a good team of good guys. This is how it was meant to be - you remember - fun. Kudos to Tim for a game well-pitched, to Simon for an astonishing reaction catch, to Andrew (HE IS A WIRY LITTLE WELSH FELLA WHO HITS BOMBS) for his efforts with glove and ball and to all the rest of us for being as cute as chinchillas, dawww.

If anyone can think who the diminutive American was, making unpleasant remarks about guide dogs a couple of years back, and thus besmirching our reputation, please advise. If he's still in the country we'll get Laura to have him forcibly repatriated, she has the ear of the next Prime Minister you know.

Also, Tecumsehs are forbidden to vote Conservative or to leave the pub before closing (this means you Oh Captain, my Captain!)

Blogger is out of Beta - I have no idea what that means, obviously - so anyone wishing to post here, and you are all encouraged to do so, will need to sign in as londontecumseh@googlemail.com from now on. Password remains shawnee.

Brian Johnson says hi.